April 1, 2008 6:29 AM
Sam wrote:
A great (and strange) story, to be sure. I have read this many times and still marvel at the stupidity of Elkanah. Here he had two wives....stop there....jeez, TWO? I could see maybe three or four or five? But TWO? "It takes to to quarrel", so the saying goes. Did he expect everything to be roses with two wives, especially when he treated one (Hannah) better than the other anyway????? What was he thinking? Can you imagine having two adult women in your househld, both of whom you called your wife, and then to treat one better than the other? And Peninnah, why did she hang around? She know her half-husband loved the other women more than her? How can a family function like that. We all have more than one child, but I bet we all love each of them equally...despite their differences. And I bet we all try to treat them equally as well....we don't try to pit one against the other. Oh sure, some parents do, but I don't think a Christian parent would even think it. We love our children equally. And I bet our children really appreciate that when we let them know it. If we show partiality, even a little bit, I guarantee the children who did not receive that 'extra' something would be quick to point it out. No, we love our children equally and we need to sometimes work at it to make sure they completely understand it. Don't be an Elkanah and treat family members in degrees of varying love....it can only lead to bitter quarreling among the family. So, as a word of warning, pay attention, Dads, when you are spending more time with your son(s) than daughters (or even vice versa), that you also take time for all your kids and make sure they understand, no matter their weaknesses, they are all loved equally. Reply to this
April 1, 2008 6:58 AM
rik wrote:
I find that the child that is most like us is the most difficult to have a strong relationship with. I believe this is because we see ourselves in him/her and do not want him/her to make all the mistakes we have made so we tend to be a little harder on him/her. conversely the child that may have a spouses character might be easier to have a relationship with because that type of personality is what we were attracted to to begin with. This does not make it acceptable to favor one over the other. It is just a reality. being aware of it is half the battle.
as far as a womans blog, I believe my Mom would be on board instantly. I will mention it to my wife and see if she would join in also. Reply to this
April 1, 2008 7:18 AM
rik wrote:
how many times have we promised to the LORD "if you do this LORD I will give you this" and of course God holds up His end of the deal and then we fall through on our end. Most of the time our end is not a huge thing either. How big a deal this is, it shows what great character this woman had. (no wonder Elkanah loved her more) the other wife was referred more often as 'her rival' then her actual name. This also says quite a bit about Peninnah. It would seem she might be a bitter mean woman. this type of woman is more difficult to love. my guess would be Peninnah was his first wife and he longed for a relationship with someone who would love him back, in comes Hannah. I can relate to this quite a bit because it is like my wife has two personalities (don't we all) and one is testy and irritable the other loving and gracious when she is being the loving type it is so much easier to love her back. when she is being testy I know I must love her all the more (this is how to get the loving personality back). Reply to this
April 1, 2008 8:47 AM
Rich wrote:
Great insights from Rik. I agree with you that it is easier to love a child like our spouse than a child like ourself. Also, I find that the child who needs the most attention (good or bad) tends to get it over the other. I appreciate Mac's words of warning. As I first read, I thought about how I love both of my children equally. That is what I always say (I even joke often with my daughter that, though I am not supposed to have favorites, she is my favorite daughter - to which she always replies, "Dad, I am your only daughter"). But as I thought more today, I think that I spend more time with my son and talk with him more than I do my daughter. He is much more like my wife and my daughter if much more like me. I appreciate the input - I will most certainly be more conscious of this.
It sounds to me that Hannah, after being provoked by Peninnah "till she wept and would not eat" got depressed. She would weep and not eat - she was downhearted. Sounds much like what my wife often does. Not just since she has been sick, but always. Women are so much more emotional than men. They cry and get downhearted about things that we just don't understand. We just plod through. They stop and feel.
For Hannah, this went on year after year. And so how did her husband respond? How did her husband (who loved her more than the other) help his wife? Elkanah responded about the way I respond to my wife when she weeps. I basically tell her that she should be happy with me. I am enough for her and just being married to me should be enough to make her content. Though I do not use these words, that is what I all too often convey. Just like Elkanah who says: "Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" I say that she should not cry, that I cannot help her with tears, that she has been blessed so much and that what she is crying about is so minor - there are more important things that need to be done than crying. To my shame, this is what I often say and do.
What is the solution to Hannah's problem? PRAYER!!! What would have been a better way for Elkanah to respond? He should have prayed with his wife. Sure he gave her double portions to offer to God, but wouldn't it have been better to pray with her? Maybe he did not understand her tears, just like I do not understand my wife's tears. But the tears are real and obviously they were important enough to God because God answered her prayers and took her tears away. I am going to try to start praying with my wife when she starts crying, won't eat or is downhearted instead of my usual response.
As for blog, I will administer if you set up. I spoke with BJ last night and she says she will do it for sure. I think she has another friend who will join as well. I believe this is a great idea - a way for all of us to promote our wives spiritual growth. Mac, please talk with Socorro and if she is interested lets talk more. Reply to this
A great (and strange) story, to be sure. I have read this many times and still marvel at the stupidity of Elkanah. Here he had two wives....stop there....jeez, TWO? I could see maybe three or four or five? But TWO? "It takes to to quarrel", so the saying goes. Did he expect everything to be roses with two wives, especially when he treated one (Hannah) better than the other anyway????? What was he thinking? Can you imagine having two adult women in your househld, both of whom you called your wife, and then to treat one better than the other? And Peninnah, why did she hang around? She know her half-husband loved the other women more than her? How can a family function like that. We all have more than one child, but I bet we all love each of them equally...despite their differences. And I bet we all try to treat them equally as well....we don't try to pit one against the other. Oh sure, some parents do, but I don't think a Christian parent would even think it. We love our children equally. And I bet our children really appreciate that when we let them know it. If we show partiality, even a little bit, I guarantee the children who did not receive that 'extra' something would be quick to point it out. No, we love our children equally and we need to sometimes work at it to make sure they completely understand it. Don't be an Elkanah and treat family members in degrees of varying love....it can only lead to bitter quarreling among the family. So, as a word of warning, pay attention, Dads, when you are spending more time with your son(s) than daughters (or even vice versa), that you also take time for all your kids and make sure they understand, no matter their weaknesses, they are all loved equally.
Reply to this
I find that the child that is most like us is the most difficult to have a strong relationship with. I believe this is because we see ourselves in him/her and do not want him/her to make all the mistakes we have made so we tend to be a little harder on him/her. conversely the child that may have a spouses character might be easier to have a relationship with because that type of personality is what we were attracted to to begin with. This does not make it acceptable to favor one over the other. It is just a reality. being aware of it is half the battle.
as far as a womans blog, I believe my Mom would be on board instantly. I will mention it to my wife and see if she would join in also.
Reply to this
how many times have we promised to the LORD "if you do this LORD I will give you this" and of course God holds up His end of the deal and then we fall through on our end. Most of the time our end is not a huge thing either. How big a deal this is, it shows what great character this woman had. (no wonder Elkanah loved her more) the other wife was referred more often as 'her rival' then her actual name. This also says quite a bit about Peninnah. It would seem she might be a bitter mean woman. this type of woman is more difficult to love. my guess would be Peninnah was his first wife and he longed for a relationship with someone who would love him back, in comes Hannah. I can relate to this quite a bit because it is like my wife has two personalities (don't we all) and one is testy and irritable the other loving and gracious when she is being the loving type it is so much easier to love her back. when she is being testy I know I must love her all the more (this is how to get the loving personality back).
Reply to this
Great insights from Rik. I agree with you that it is easier to love a child like our spouse than a child like ourself. Also, I find that the child who needs the most attention (good or bad) tends to get it over the other. I appreciate Mac's words of warning. As I first read, I thought about how I love both of my children equally. That is what I always say (I even joke often with my daughter that, though I am not supposed to have favorites, she is my favorite daughter - to which she always replies, "Dad, I am your only daughter"). But as I thought more today, I think that I spend more time with my son and talk with him more than I do my daughter. He is much more like my wife and my daughter if much more like me. I appreciate the input - I will most certainly be more conscious of this.
It sounds to me that Hannah, after being provoked by Peninnah "till she wept and would not eat" got depressed. She would weep and not eat - she was downhearted. Sounds much like what my wife often does. Not just since she has been sick, but always. Women are so much more emotional than men. They cry and get downhearted about things that we just don't understand. We just plod through. They stop and feel.
For Hannah, this went on year after year. And so how did her husband respond? How did her husband (who loved her more than the other) help his wife?
Elkanah responded about the way I respond to my wife when she weeps. I basically tell her that she should be happy with me. I am enough for her and just being married to me should be enough to make her content. Though I do not use these words, that is what I all too often convey. Just like Elkanah who says: "Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?" I say that she should not cry, that I cannot help her with tears, that she has been blessed so much and that what she is crying about is so minor - there are more important things that need to be done than crying. To my shame, this is what I often say and do.
What is the solution to Hannah's problem? PRAYER!!! What would have been a better way for Elkanah to respond? He should have prayed with his wife. Sure he gave her double portions to offer to God, but wouldn't it have been better to pray with her? Maybe he did not understand her tears, just like I do not understand my wife's tears. But the tears are real and obviously they were important enough to God because God answered her prayers and took her tears away. I am going to try to start praying with my wife when she starts crying, won't eat or is downhearted instead of my usual response.
As for blog, I will administer if you set up. I spoke with BJ last night and she says she will do it for sure. I think she has another friend who will join as well. I believe this is a great idea - a way for all of us to promote our wives spiritual growth. Mac, please talk with Socorro and if she is interested lets talk more.
Reply to this
My blog (this one) is free with my website. To get another one, it is $5.00 a month.
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